Glossary of the New Economics
Wednesday, May. 6, 2009 at 2:53pm
Debt: What you buy things with.
Cash: Employed to buy debt.
Profit: What's left after Generally Accepted Accounting Principles takes the rest.
Revenue: What you see in 120 days.
Interest: What they used to give along with the toaster.
Free Market: see Unregulated Market.
Unregulated Market: See Ponzi Scheme
Ponzi Scheme: The manipulation of markets by experts who use other people's money to get rich.
EBITDA: See OIBIDA
OIBIDA: Yet another acronym.
Cash Flow: The actual amount of money an enterprise has on hand. Generally disregarded by Wall Street analysts in favor of Earnings Per Share (EPS).
EPS: Cash that is left after the business does anything worthwhile. The figure is distorted by all sorts of one-time expenses, accounting tropes, write-downs, restructuring charges and other non-cash items.
Capitalism: The manipulation of markets by experts who use other people's money to get rich.
Now come on, you guys. It's your turn. Got any terms you'd care to offer?